They say that "morning sickness" is really caused by all of the progesterone in the body of a pregnant woman. And I was taking extra!!! I was grateful I had my own office at that point, because I was constantly gagging and sick. I would come home from work and collapse on the couch. My weight was dropping for the first time in my life, I was able to wear a set of suits I had been holding onto since high school. I did not look pregnant.
But instead of great craving stories, my poor husband had stories of aversions. I could not stand the taste or smell of even my favorite foods. Friday nights were spent in bed, and I had to shoo my husband into the hall to eat, because the smell of the food he had brought to come sit with me in the room was too overwhelming. Even talking about some foods that made me nauseous could start me gagging. Throwing up started being a relief. But I rarely complained, because I was finally pregnant! No matter how afraid I was to admit it, even to myself. At one point, I ended up in the hospital because I was so dehydrated. My husband was running out of foods I could keep down.
Towards the end of the 20 weeks, we finally started telling some close family members and asked them not to share (but of course they did not listen to us).
Then, one day, the most incredible thing happened. I felt three tiny, distinctive, pokes. I felt the baby! It started to be more real. I also had turned a corner and could start eating a bit better again. I got down within sight of my dream weight, ironically during pregnancy. But now it was time to start gaining weight. Once I was off the progesterone, my pregnancy started to normalize. I started looking pregnant (although by the end I only looked about 6 months along). I never got to really "take advantage" of being pregnant because I was so scared and didn't show or tell people really. In my last month, colleagues were still just realizing.
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